


Imperfectly Perfect

by flirtmcgirt



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Anniversary, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4981564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flirtmcgirt/pseuds/flirtmcgirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s December 1997,  and that means Rae and Finn’s one-year anniversary. And Rae’s birthday. And Christmas. Finn has some serious shopping to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imperfectly Perfect

Finn’s stomach was in knots. He’d never cared much for holidays. When he was little, it had been too many people crammed in the kitchen, deafening voices, and his mum chasing him about all day.  _Finn, don’t soil your new shirt from Gran! Finn, how are you always underfoot?  Go set the table._ These days, holidays were him and his dad sitting in front of the telly until it was time to move the sitting over to the chippy with other hapless souls. Even the hermits didn’t want to cook on special occasions.

But this year was different, thanks to one Rachel Earl. It gave Finn nervous sweats just thinking about it. He wasn’t worried about one holiday anymore. If only. Now he had to grapple with the holy trifecta of special occasions: Rae’s birthday, Christmas, and their one-year anniversary, and he couldn’t let his goddess down.

He hadn’t really considered that last year when they’d agreed to bury all the bullshit and start fresh the morning after christening Rae’s new bedroom. Sure, there’d been a lot of giving and receiving going on that December, but it didn’t have much to do with gifts. That was then, down to a sweet memory and slight ache in his jeans. Now the pressure was on, and the ache was more likely to be hitting his bank account.

She was definitely worth it, though. He’d been right about Rae from almost the beginning. She  _was_ sound. Solid, trustworthy, strong. Something Finn didn’t get to see too often. He’d never understood how he’d charmed her enough to stick around this time, but she had. Rae was his constant, and deserved to know it. Finn would deliver the perfect gift – once he figured out what the hell it was.

As far as he knew, Rae only had one favorite shop. It wasn’t the right place, but it was a good enough start. At least there wouldn’t be many Christmas shoppers milling about in there.

Rob looked up as the bell signaled Finn walking into Town Records. “Alright Finn? Come for the new Pumpkins box set, have ya?”

“Nah, looking around for Rae,” Finn replied.

“She’s not here, mate. Hasn’t been around in a week or so. Linda the Terrible must’ve frozen the purse strings again. She’s got you running around town looking for her? Ya have a spat?” Rob asked.

“No, no.” Finn chuckled. “I’ve got gifts to buy her. Birthday, anniversary, all that.”

Rob was staring at him across the counter in disbelief, and Finn felt the cold sweats creep up again.

“Nelson, are you kidding me with this bollocks? First of all, the day any of us outsmart  _Rae Earl_ in musical choices is the last one, and you know it.”

Finn  _did_ know it. Not that he would ever admit it to Rae. He had no backup ideas, though.

“God, Tony would love to hire her,” Rob continued. “She knows everything, and all her pay would flow right back into the store. I bet she’d even let her boyfriend hear the advance cassettes.”

“Anyway,” Rob said with a pointed look at Finn, second thing is you won’t find a damn thing here that’s good enough for an anniversary, let alone more. Come on, man.”

Finn’s shoulders sagged. He knew Rob was right, but he also knew his well of inspiration had run dry, with barely anything in it to start with.

“Well, have at it, then,” Rob scoffed. “Maybe something will spark an idea.”

Finn started flipping through the bins.  _No, boring, shite, has it, has it, not even Gran would’ve wanted it._ Ok, records were officially off the list.

He moved over to the shop’s t-shirt section. There was a pretty sweet Talking Heads shirt, but with a Pavlovian flinch, a memory of Stacey rose up. He’d bought her one of those Morton tops she was always going on about while they were dating. In a medium. There’d been hell to pay for weeks.

Finn still didn’t get it.  _Who wants “Small”?_ He’d always been slim as a kid, if you were being nice, scrawny if you weren’t, and hated it. He knew Rae would never be cruel to him, but didn’t think he could handle even the possibility of another tongue lashing.

Pausing at Town’s small shelf of toys and knickknacks, Finn suddenly nibbled his tongue as his face slid into a cheeky grin.

“ _You think about it a lot, then?” Rae murmured doubtfully._

_“Oh, yeah,” Finn breathed hungrily. “You have no clue how often, girl.” He snaked a hand out from under the sheets to ghost along her spine, but froze mid-journey. Even in lamplight, he could see how red her face was growing, and she started whipping her head back and forth in dissent._

_“Hey, hey! What’s this?” Finn wrapped his arms around Rae and stroked her hair._

_“I just can’t, Finn!” Rae quavered. Suddenly leaping forward, it was as if all her emotions were running out in torrents. ”I’m the tyrannosaurus of sex! I’ll crush you! Oh, god, what if I kill you,” Rae moaned in despair, burying her face in her hands._

_“You’re the wha’?” Finn exclaimed, staring in bewilderment. He clamped down hard on his bottom lip. **Not now. Even if it is silly, don’t you dare laugh. She won’t understand.**_

_“I’m too big. Being on top is crazy.” Rae argued._

_Finn pulled her alongside him to stare into her eyes. “Rae, you’re not too big. I promise. No way will you kill me. You should see this tape that Chop has- **shut up arsehole, shutup, SHUT UP** \- er, I mean, I do fantasize about you Rae. I’m not gonna deny it. But I picture you just as you are. And I definitely don’t fantasize about you doing anything you don’t wanna.”_

_Rae settled into his embrace and they lay together quietly._  

 _“What if..what if I did want to, but I was scared?” Rae whispered shakily._  

_“You don’t have to be scared with me,” Finn replied. “I get scared too, but I like to think of you and how tough you are. I want to be that person for you one day, Rae.”_

_Beaming, Rae nodded, taking a deep breath. Finn only had a moment to realize, crazily, that she looked exactly the same as she had psyching herself up before the speech that had altered his whole life. Then her lips crashed into his, and it all fell away._

Finn grabbed the dinosaur lamp. He still liked to give a good roar into her ear for laughs when he was feeling extra horny. Ok, it wasn’t  _the_ gift, but he still wanted to buy it. Inspiration would come another day.

 

Later that night, Finn finished rolling a cigarette and leaned back into the couch just as the bell rang. Without waiting to be acknowledged, Chop and Archie came tramping into the lounge. 

“Lad’s night at The Swan, c’mon!” Chop bellowed.

“Can’t, Chop,” Finn sighed. “I gotta save my quid for something nice for Rae.”

“Aye, you better get Raemundo something sexy,” Chop leered.  “There’s that new shop, s’posed to be all antiques and afghans for grans and shit? Well, my brother says that if you ask the owner to see the back storeroom, that’s the code. Fulla porn. Whips and chains. Rae in one o’ them vinyl bras would be something, eh?”

“ _Would_ it now, Chop?” Finn mumbled through gritted teeth, raising an eyebrow in warning. “Fuck off anyhow. I need something meaningful.” Although Finn did have yet to buy Rae a stocking stuffer.  _No. Focus, dammit. Brainstorm now, wank later_.

Archie piped up. “Well, what’s her hobbies when she’s not with the gang?”

“You know, records and all, but I already struck out there. I guess I could get her a new diary. It’s been looking pretty shabby, but that kind of stuff is too-“

“You’re looking at things wrong,” Archie interjected. “Rae doesn’t care about  _stuff_. She’s not scribbling away in that diary about how many tickets to the cinema you’ve bought her, or wanting new shoes. She’s writing about memories, how you make her feel. Just think about what would make her feel special.”

Finn chewed at his lip, mulling it over. He nodded slowly. “How d’ya always know the answer to this kinda stuff?”

Archie leaned in solemnly. “It’s cause I’m a gayer.”

“Oi, Archibald! Maybe we better get you to the antique shop,” Chop shouted. “I hear they got these plug things, go right up your b-“

“Enough! Dear god.” Archie threw his hands up in defeat. “We’d better get to the pub before he gets any more bright ideas.”

Finn stifled a laugh as he watched them leave. He was proud, though. A year ago, Archie could barely say “gay” aloud without trembling. Look at him now. Finn idly wondered if Archie would ever get laid. Probably so, eventually.

Sinking back into the sofa, Finn returned to the dilemma at hand. What were  _his_ memories of Rae? Hell, what weren’t his memories of Rae. The tartness of her snakebite and black on his tongue, boisterous laughter ringing through the pub, ragged breaths panting into his ear at 3 AM. The good, the bad, the lusty: all of it shot through with threads of Rae. How could he ever express it all in something tangible? Finn didn’t know, but he was going to try like hell to do it right.

**Two Weeks Later**

“Hey, you.” Rae grinned shyly as she presented Finn with two silver wrapped boxes.

“Happy anniversary,” Finn whispered as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Hey, where’s my present?” Rae mock pouted. “Those look like two suspiciously empty hands, Finn Nelson.”

Finn cast a quick glance around for Linda and Karim before giving Rae’s breasts a gentle squeeze. “There, now they’re full,” he quipped.

“Oh that’s how it’s gonna be, is it?” Rae teased, her eyes sparkling.

“That’s how it’s gonna be!” He had his part of their routine down. “Don’t worry, your present’s in the back of the car. Put mine back there with it. I thought we’d go for a drive.”

“Fi-in.” Rae’s tone was a sharp warning. “All I got you were those two things. I hope you didn’t go all out.”

“Well, alright. If I need another present, then…your gift to me is that you’re gonna do what I say today, woman.” Finn broke into a wide grin. “I’ll try not to be demanding for ya. Now get in the damn car!”

Rae slid into the passenger seat with a chortle and an eye roll. “Oh, bollocks. This is gonna be good.”

After about 30 minutes of cracking jokes, boring scenery, and quick makeouts whenever Finn felt safe to glance away from the road, Rae was getting restless. “Where’s all your tapes, Finn?” Rae inquired while rifling through the glovebox.

“Fuck. I let Barney borrow the car last week and took ‘em out. You know how he’s always nicking things,” Finn said. “We’ve only got about another hour and quarter or so.”

“ _That_ long without good music?!” Rae whined, aghast. “You know the Stamford uni station has no range. Where are we even going, my god.”

“Eh, come on,” Finn teased. “Just play that new rock station. It’s pretty strong.”

“Yeah, and pretty bloated. Corporate, corporate, corporate. No cool tunes. Besides, it’s call-in hour. Do you know I heard it’s all pre-recorded? The hell kind of DJ does that? Not us, when it’s our turn, that’s for sure.” Rae reached over to ruffle Finn’s hair. “Better work on those surprise skills and some improv now!”

 Finn shrugged. “Corporate or static. Your pick. Besides, we haven’t done ‘marks out of 10’ for a while. Imagine the material the people of England are about to give you,” he chuckled.

Rae’s marks went about as expected. “Two, four, you’re kidding. Someone  _requested_ that? Negative ten!”

“Next caller,” boomed the DJ. “What’s your earworm?”

“Yeah, ah,” stuttered a boyish, nervous voice. “Last time I heard this song, someone stole from me, and I’m coming to collect.”

Rae’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “Finn! Did you-oh you did!” She clapped her hands involuntarily and sat up straighter.

“Oh yeah, mate?” the dj continued. “Sounds serious.”

“It is. So, Rae, if you’re out there-which I know you are- I want my 20p and my heart back, cause you’ve had both for ages now. Can you play ‘Sabotage?’

“Um, interesting choice there,” the DJ said. “Well, congrats, Rae. Someone’s sure thinking of you, lucky lady. Or gentleman, I guess. Not quite sure there… enjoy!”

“What!” Finn fumed. “That wanker! He promised to edit that out. You’re right, this station is shit. And it is pre-taped, my smart girl.”

Rae turned to him with a massive grin as she caressed his face. “Well, it’s an easy mistake to make, Mr. ‘Rae as in Raymond.’ You wooed me and confused half of England all at once. Well done. I adore you for it.”

“And I you”, murmured Finn. “Oh hey,” he added with a sudden smirk. “Want some cassettes? They’re hidden in my pack in the backseat.”

“You tosser!” squealed Rae. “Trickster, anything’s better than this.” They locked eyes. “Turn that shit OFF!” both chorused in unison before doubling up in laughter. Finn’s heart skipped a beat and he knew in that moment being with Rae Earl was the single best choice he’d ever made.

Traffic was bottling up, and Rae suddenly knew exactly where they were headed. “Finn, why the fuck are we in Wembley traffic?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Finn answered breezily. “Heard there’s a little Oasis show tonight. Thought we might check it out, hm?”

“No, Finn. I love it. I love it! Oh, but Wembley’s huge!” Rae slouched in her seat. “Think of the crowds. Too many people. I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” Finn said firmly. “I told you before I’m your person when you get scared. Don’t look at them. Look at me. Besides, I’ve waited over a year to seduce you to Oasis again. My patience is wearing  _very_ thin. And you have to do what I say, remember?”

“Cheeky bastard,” Rae giggled as they linked arms and set to leave the car park.

Finn was having fun, the band was on point, but all his attention was on Rae. She swayed unconsciously to the beginning of Wonderwall, eyes squeezed shut. She looked more delicious than any Knebworth fantasy he’d ever had, and he’d had more than a few in those early days.

“Rae-rae, dance with me, c’mon,” he whispered into her ear.

“Alright, but it’s crowded. I can barely move. And you know I can’t dance.”

“Well, just sway back and forth with me then. I can’t dance either.” Finn brushed her hair back. “Are you happy, Rae? Is it what you hoped it would be?”

Rae scrunched up her face in confusion. “You mean Oasis? Or me and you?”

“Huh. Well, either, I guess.”

“It’s not,” Rae said, lifting her face to meet Finn’s with a clear, strong gaze. “It’s more. Loads more. More than I could ever tell you. Both. All of it. I would’ve never dared to hold you like this at Knebworth. I didn’t know you cared.”

“Well, I did,” Finn replied. “All I could think about there was you. But it’s alright. We’ve got new memories now.”

It hit Finn even harder than that time Rae’d socked his jaw. He’d remember this when he was 80. He knew it. Rae Earl was star of a capital-M Moment in his life. On his deathbed, spooning porridge into his mouth, whatever the hell he wound up doing. He’d be doing it to guitars ringing in his ears, the feel of the curve of her neck, still moving his fingers to smooth strands of her hair. That was just a fact, and it thrilled him.

“Rae, you know. I really care about you. More than anyone. Happy anniversary.”  _Prat_. Why couldn’t he just say ‘love?’ Finn wanted to so badly, his body hummed with the effort of keeping it in. But it was just too terrifying.

“Happy anniversary, my Finley. And I know exactly what you’re trying to tell me, m’dear,” Rae whispered just before their lips met.

“AHHH! You’ve got me all wet!” Rae shrieked.

“Oh, yeah? Later for that, I thought?” Finn grinned, as they stood in a downpour just outside the stadium.

“Hush, I’m serious! We’ve gotta drive home in this, and I’m already shaking!”

“Come on then, we’d better hurry,” Finn shouted, dragging Rae down the street by the hand. He ducked them into a hotel lobby. “Get you somewhere to warm up.”

“But how old do you have to be to rent a room?” Rae wondered. Finn shrugged. “Guess about 43 or so.” Rae just stared at him. “I sorted it with your mum and Karim.”

“Wow, they did that for us?” Rae huffed an astonished little breath as they headed to the lifts. Suddenly she clapped her hand over her mouth. “Finn. Oh my GOD, Finn. She knows. She  _knows_ for sure now that we…that we..oh, I’m just ready to die.”

Finn’s laugh rang hearty and full through the lift. “Not before you open your gift, you’re not, girl. And I hate to tell you, but it didn’t exactly seem like a shock. Karim actually clapped me on the back and gave me a pack of johnnies.”

 _“No shit!”_  Rae breathed, eyes wide with disbelief. “It were a bit creepy, I have to admit, “Finn said while unlocking their room. Rae took it all in. A bouquet of flowers on the nightstand, gorgeous furniture, and their gifts for each other lying on the bed.

“Finn, this is too much. I think you’re actually the mad one. How did you  _afford_ all this, you sneak?”

“I did just as much as I wanted to. No fretting about that. Consider it combined gifts for anniversary, birthday, and Christmas,” Finn ordered. Rae shrugged in agreement, but internally was already starting to brick it about her now next-level Christmas shopping trip she had to do.

“And you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of me in the spring,” Finn continued. “Hope ya don’t mind. Karim helped me out. Your mum suggested a yard work barter type thing. Work it off.”

“Wait.” Rae held out a hand in front of her. “You’re telling me that my mum made a deal where I get to watch my sexy, shirtless boyfriend do manual labor? God, she really does still have baby brain. And speaking of shirtless,” Rae purred.

“Contain yourself, girl! I want my presents!” Finn dove onto the bed, looking for all the world like the little five-year-old grinning at Butlins. He was perfectly thrilled with his new tool set and  _The Aeroplane Flies High_ box. _Nothing good enough for an anniversary, eh Rob_? Wait til the next time Finn saw him.

“Well, I was feeling bad about being practical, not romantic,” Rae interrupted. “But that’s before I saw this,” placing the lamp on the dresser.

“Don’t play coy with me, T Rex.” Finn winked at her. “Fancy it tonight?”

Rae moved closer, clutching Finn’s shirt in her fist. “If you know where those johnnies are, you better tell me. NOW.”

“The dresser,” Finn panted into her ear, as Rae raked her teeth along his neck and fingers along the curve of his arse. Grabbing his shoulder blades, she shoved him eagerly against the dresser.  _BAM_. Maybe a little too eagerly.

“Oh no, my present! I’ve gone and wrecked it already.” Rae pulled the lamp upright. “Oh, now it’s got a poorly foot.”

“Lemme see,” said Finn, leaning over for a glance. “Well, good. I love it more now, because nothing’s perfect.”

“You always know the right thing to say,” Rae told him, voice welling. “ _You’re_ perfect.”

“If I am, so are you. Dickhead.” Finn’s laugh tickled along Rae’s neck.

“ _You’re perfect, you’re perfect_ ,” they chanted together as they fell backwards onto the bed. And so they closed out that first year with the most imperfectly perfect of acts.


End file.
